Over the past few months I've been warned many times about how difficult it will be to become both a newly wed and move towns. And, as I do most of the time, I simply shrugged off whatever people have said and just got on with it. I still wonder about the advisors of doom and gloom. Why do they say it? Simply to share a profound truth? To put me off my plans? It never changes the situation or helps to make the situation easier. And yet, there it is.
Those people were right. It has been difficult - and I knew it would be difficult before I started it, I just couldn't see another way at this particular point in my life. At least the moving to a new town part was difficult. I'm still trying to figure out what's difficult about being newly wed. Perhaps if I didn't have the strains of a new town to deal with I would find something difficult in being a newly wed? I just don't know.
It was only this weekend that I began to realize that all this moving has taken it's toll. This was the first Sunday in about a month that I didn't actually have to sit down and work. Instead I sat and played hours of "age of empires" and then sat and watched my husband do exactly the same thing - it was mundane, and, as many would point out, a complete waste of time - and that was what made it so wonderful: I had time to waste! Only after hours in front of the computer did I realize how stressed out I had been over the last few months (We moved in August, got married in September) and how little time I had actually just spent lazing around.
But back to those friends and family who assured me things would be difficult. I don't think they're wrong to say those things. I think what matters is what happens after I've still gone ahead and done the difficult thing I was going to do. Those people who say, "you are crazy" and then do no more when things become crazy are not half as valuable as those people who say, "you are crazy" but still make themselves available to help you through the craziness. I realized this after a phone call from a friend who said to me, "Well, we all knew that this would be difficult, now we just have to work through it with you." She has since been a great shoulder for me to lean on over the past weeks and will no doubt continue to be so.
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2 comments:
I think the difficulties are in the things not spoken about. "Moving town" might not be difficult - only takes a week or two - but the emotional toll of uprooting, rediscovering, balancing in a new place... that is difficult, even if you want to move. I suppose the same must be true for marriage. (Although as a newly wed, I must say that I have gained a lot of sustenance from marriage...)
First let me say you are a saint for marrying ehem....him.
Second, your sunday actually sounds really nice (well except for looking at your husband).
It will get better I have no doubt. I can't imagine how tough it is to be married to Andr...I mean to move towns like that. Seriously, I respect both of you tremendously for doing what it takes to be together. It's an example more people should follow. Just know it will all be okay...I know goofball would do anything for you. Best Wishes!
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