Training 6 - toughest day so far

It didn't start with the running. It started with my motivation. I woke up at about 4am this morning in a state of deep anxiety. This is a familiar pattern that always returns to a set of themes for me to worry or feel guilty about and they always do the trick of keeping me up and getting my mood very low. Eventually I fell asleep again but when the alarm rang I couldn't get up.
Let's just say that it's a good thing I'm on holiday and can postpone a training session. The fact that I've set myself the goal of an event in 5 weeks time means that I know taking even one day off is not wise especially considering the shape that I'm in.
The weather is not kind today, either. It's the London drizzle - not quite rain, not quite mist, but quite perpetual. This was ok. I know that training sometimes happens in the rain and recalled an image from a NIKE add a few years ago with a woman training in the rain and the slogan underneath being something like "because I'm worth it". Of all things to get me out the house in this weather that was it - even when I realized that I had left my IPOD in our new house.
You see, we're also moving this week, which could easily account for a bit of extra anxiety.

Well, off I went, not in the best of spirits tackling my first session with an even walk/run routine. I needed to repeat this routine 4 times, but wanted to try and do it 5 times to keep the entire session at thirty minutes.

It started off badly. The first three minutes of running left me quite winded and quite surprised. Fortunately the walk helped me recover and the next three minutes session was better. At the twelve minute mark I got a stitch and also a pain just below my right knee. As this was at a walking point I allowed myself to walk and debated what to do. Determination won and I started running again to find that the pain went away. I made it to the end of the session and decided I had enought strength to do an extra set. So, I completed a thirty minute session alternating three minutes of jogging and three minutes of walking.

I'm home now and after my stretch and sweating quite badly. This run felt like my first session of walking one minute and running one minute - I feel the same sense of exhaustion at the end. This was also the first run I've done where my mind was telling me I wasn't going to be able to complete it. I completed the session, but what about the 5K. Each time I step up my running I get quite a shock - I can just manage running constantly for three minutes, and I plan to run 5K in a few weeks?

So, anxiety, no music to listen to, unpleasant weather, and a huge slump in my mood has meant a tough day today. I need to think about how I'm going to pick myself up. Tomorrow is a day for yoga.